Fuck you, Drago

RIP Apollo Creed

Why Must I Cry

I am not making fun of this video. I find it to be something that should be played 7:00 in the morning on MTV. This video is very off-putting to most people I'm sure. But its filled with so many subtle imprefections and alien genius. Great job, Reh Dogg. I get you.

Boytronic

Well, the songs kind of blow. But the videos are something else. Who came up with this stuff?

Disco Rick

This video is so weird and catchy. Why did this man hire little girls to sing "Do the Nasty"? But anyway, this is the type of camp modern comedians rack their brains trying to envision.

Sweet Dreams

I'll always prefer the more well-known video version of this song. But this is kinda neat. You really get to understand the Eurythmics dynamic better with this odd video. And, gosh, isn't Annie Lennox the most gorgeous and enigmatic thing in the world??

Bob Clampett

Bob Clampett really helped to shape my early blueprint of an imagination and also helped me fall in love with cartoons. His Warner Bros. shorts are so manic and colorful and drawn with such poise that you always find yourself entertained no matter how lackluster the plot or intellectually offensive the content.

Merrie Melodies - The Old Grey Hare (1944)
Uploaded by Cartoonzof2006. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

That cartoon has great expressions and really gives Elmer Fudd a really emotional and human side. It was never Clampett's job to make you think. Chuck Jones and Fiz Frelend were the cerebral ones. But seeing the history of Bugs and Elmer is a real master-stroke because it isn't just some gratuitous gimmick like it is now. This really sets up every Bugs/Elmer feud cartoon ever. And seeing the eventual end of their feud is hard to put into words. Just magnificent filmmaking.

Clampett made some of tthe most controversial cartoons ever. "Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarves" deserves its own post. But watch this cartoon dealing with a Native American threat. Some will think of the cartoonists as insensitive hatemongers, but I think they were just immature prankster having fun at the expense of American history. This cartoon is so memorable for its surreal gags, but to me the best part is the supporting cast. Porky and Injun Joe are fine, but the horse, Sloppy Moe and even a bear-trap all give great performances.

Merrie Melodies "Wagon Heels" (1945)
Uploaded by 100X. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

With age comes wisdom

As a child, I looked up to one man above all others. That man is Chevy Chase. That acid-spewing, hate-filled master of one-liners and pratfalls. But then there was a huge backlash against him for being such a cock to people. So what if the man compared Bill Murray's skin to the cratered surface of the moon. And what if, in a supreme act of callousness, he chastised John Landis for the death of Vic Murrow and two Vietnamese children. And I can't repeat a rumored sketch idea he may have mentioned to a gay SNL cast member. Just know the punchline is about a gay man dying from AIDS.

So he's a piece of shit. But he made "Fletch". Even more, he made "Fletch Lives". He was FUCKING Clark Griswald! This man was in BOTH Caddyshacks damn it! Hasn't he paid his dues with his 90s and 00s career? Can't we welcome this man back into our hearts?

Now that he's a 66-year-old clown prince, he seems humbled. He can laugh at his misfortune and misteps. He even pats people on the back these days. He openly envies Bill Murray's career and speaks fondly of his fallen rival John Belushi. He mentions that most of his films sucked.

See how un-smug he can be?

How did I get here?

I'm depressed. My life has no thrill. No mate. No job. My day consists of watching old movies and youtube videos. Mostly comedies. I'm a creative, fun-loving guy. I like smart, interesting, odd people. I'm not a total bump on a log. I write plenty. I write poetry, raps, lyrics and love to write jokes and gags. But where is life leading me. My love for the longest has been film. I'd like to be a director and writer. Acting might be fun and rewarding. As long as I have a lot of creative input. Producing doesn't interest me much.

I'm thinking about college. Acting, directing, editing, business management, psychology are all very interesting to me. I'd really love to study the English language, which would help with my writing and wordplay. How do I earn money with what I have? Why am I so hesitant about returning to school? School wasn't so kind to me before. I'm always the outsider and rebel with how the teachers teach. They either go too slow or too fast. I lose interest easily. I've learned alot about myself and what I want out of life thanks to my break. I've watched hundreds of movies, studied the writing, direction and performances thoroughly. Now I want to create. I'm sick of just studying. So returning to school to study "properly" is not the most encouraging idea.

I see so many talented young artists, thinkers and performers living the bohemian lifestyle in New York. Plenty of cool bands, poets and improv actors. Like this little darling Jenny Slate.

I want to surround myself with artistic people with ambitions. My friends who feel compelled to work at dead-end jobs and get fucked up on the weekends are sad. I just want to create impressive works of MY own art and enjoy the nightlife not as an escape, but as a social tool. Meet beautiful girls with big complex minds. Make new kinds of friends like gay people and people from different ethnic backgrounds. I'm sick of the rednecks and drug-users. Its just boring. I'm the country mouse lusting for the city.

I feel so much funnier than the comedians I see. I can write better plots than the ones I see in theatres. I have a unique view on things. No one's into the shit I'm into. I'm a 22 year old black virgin who loves Jerry Lewis and europop. And I actually like women. Not just plain ol' white women mind you! I really love Jewish women. Atleast, presently.

So here are MY OPTIONS:
Join some improv acting troupe
Make crummy little underground films no one will ever see
Go to school so Hollywood and big businesses will care about me

Fucking horrible

Sick Animation

I love my comedy as juvenile as it is adult. True comedy has BALLS. And sickanimation.com is never lacking in that genital category. Surreal, silly stuff.

YAY! Chevy!

I've always been a super nerd for Chevy Chase films. But he's always been such a smug and rude hated personality. But now that he's in his late 60s and a deflated comic legend, he's like a rather hip grandpa we all can enjoy. Here's the best interview I've ever seen with him. He's kind and not stroking his own ego AT ALL! Well, just a teensy bit.

More STEP BROTHERS

I think STEP BROTHERS is one of the best comedies in the last 30 years. Probably the best of this generation of overpaid hacks. Its up there with Caddyshack and Tommy Boy in the annals of ridiculously silly, male-influenced, improv-heavy, slapsticky fun comedies. So if you watched it and enjoyed it, here's what didn't make its way in the final cut. Apparently, there's enough material to make another movie.

ALICE

So Tim Burton is releasing his version of Lewis Carrol's "Alice in Wonderland".
Big deal. Plenty of cool kids will get really high and be disappointed by this one-trillionth faithful adaptation of a classic. What you should do is gather, get drunk or high on X and watch this mindbender of a show:



This takes me back to when everything was insane. When George Bush Sr. was the president and children pined to be covered in green "Gak". But whats with the hip-hop Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? And is the Red Queen 80s icon Nell Carter?

TV: Zoobilee Zoo

I nearly had my period when I found this long-lost piece of my childhood thanks to YOUTUBE. I think the fox guy had a tremendous impact on my personality, sadly. And I really wanted to marry the bird chick. I still love pear-shaped girls with beak-shaped noses. Any Jewish girls with feathers?

RIGHT NOW

The only thing more intriquing and foreign to me than Ghetto music is Ghetto comedy. This is a parody of the musical stylings of Gucci Mane and OJ da Juice Man. They reveal how incredibly easy it is to create their oddball Gangsta rap with some of the weirdest comedy I've heard in a while. BEWARE This is extremely catchy and juvenile.



"I walk with a waddle 'cause I got webbed feet!"

"I eat my sandwich plain/ It was a cheeseburger till I took off everything!"

Gucc & Juice Freestyle

Now to some, this video is just a sad display of some Ghetto niggaz. But what I see is a very humorous attempt at rapping by two ambitious dudes. Sure, they are uneducated and pretty threatening to Sburban America. And they kind of suck at freestyling. But how can anyone deny their character. Young men who hang out, get high on marijuana and create rhyming couplets about how "hard" they are over haunting 90s techno samples. Its fascinating and, in a weirdly subversive way, enlightening about what's going on in the projects of America.

Some classic quotables here too.

"Juice push elbows/ Pills and shit, dawg, I push real coke!"

"Triple beam scale? Shawty say that he triple beam scale" LOL