How did I get here?

I'm depressed. My life has no thrill. No mate. No job. My day consists of watching old movies and youtube videos. Mostly comedies. I'm a creative, fun-loving guy. I like smart, interesting, odd people. I'm not a total bump on a log. I write plenty. I write poetry, raps, lyrics and love to write jokes and gags. But where is life leading me. My love for the longest has been film. I'd like to be a director and writer. Acting might be fun and rewarding. As long as I have a lot of creative input. Producing doesn't interest me much.

I'm thinking about college. Acting, directing, editing, business management, psychology are all very interesting to me. I'd really love to study the English language, which would help with my writing and wordplay. How do I earn money with what I have? Why am I so hesitant about returning to school? School wasn't so kind to me before. I'm always the outsider and rebel with how the teachers teach. They either go too slow or too fast. I lose interest easily. I've learned alot about myself and what I want out of life thanks to my break. I've watched hundreds of movies, studied the writing, direction and performances thoroughly. Now I want to create. I'm sick of just studying. So returning to school to study "properly" is not the most encouraging idea.

I see so many talented young artists, thinkers and performers living the bohemian lifestyle in New York. Plenty of cool bands, poets and improv actors. Like this little darling Jenny Slate.

I want to surround myself with artistic people with ambitions. My friends who feel compelled to work at dead-end jobs and get fucked up on the weekends are sad. I just want to create impressive works of MY own art and enjoy the nightlife not as an escape, but as a social tool. Meet beautiful girls with big complex minds. Make new kinds of friends like gay people and people from different ethnic backgrounds. I'm sick of the rednecks and drug-users. Its just boring. I'm the country mouse lusting for the city.

I feel so much funnier than the comedians I see. I can write better plots than the ones I see in theatres. I have a unique view on things. No one's into the shit I'm into. I'm a 22 year old black virgin who loves Jerry Lewis and europop. And I actually like women. Not just plain ol' white women mind you! I really love Jewish women. Atleast, presently.

So here are MY OPTIONS:
Join some improv acting troupe
Make crummy little underground films no one will ever see
Go to school so Hollywood and big businesses will care about me